Practical Exercise for Chodesh Iyar - Unity within the flames of Lag Ba'Omer
Subject:
As explained in Sefer Yitzirah, the month of Iyar is connected to and ruled by the letter Vav. The letter Vav is a very interesting letter because it is used in two opposite ways in the Hebrew language. Its first usage is as Vav Ha'chibur- the connecting Vav, which, when translated, means 'And' (e.g. - Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaacov) (The and actually forming a connection and correlation between the three names mentioned)
The letter Vav in this form represents the power of connection. This is the power we contain to meditate, to concentrate on a certain subject, until we actually unite the one meditating with the subject of his meditation. This unification is a real connection.
On the other hand, the same letter Vav is used in Hebrew as Vav Ha'hipuch- (transformative Vav) When we use this Vav, the meaning of the word is transformed from its own meaning to an opposite meaning. For example, when the Vav is added to a word, it is transformed from past tense to present or future tense. This can be seen in the word V'Ahavta. Ahavta, without the Vav- means you loved (past) but with the Vav (V'ahavta) it means you shall love (future).
This is the power of transformation- adding the Vav changes the word to a completely opposite connotation.
The special command of the month of Iyar is to count the Omer. The Omer is the 49 day period between Pesach and Shavuot. In Kaballah, it explains that the fact we are counting 49 days is very significant. 49 is the total number of emotions that exist within the heart of man. There are 7 main emotions of the heart, one corresponding to each day of the week. But, in a process called inter-inclusion, in truth, each of these 7 emotional traits contain within it each of the other seven.( e.g.- in loving kindness, there is loving-kindness within loving-kindness, discernment of loving-kindness, mercy within loving-kindness, endurance within loving-kindness etc) With this understanding of the connectedness of all the emotions, we see there are 49 emotions. The process of counting these 49 consecutive days of Sefirat Haomer is the process of unifying all the emotions of the heart.
Before the process of connecting the character traits, each one is standing alone and ignoring and fighting the other feelings. Just like when you hate someone, you feel it impossible to love him at the same time. After true inner work, you realize that within this person there is something you hate, but there is as well that which you love, and both emotions are true at the same time. During Sefirat Ha'omer, we are working out all the intricacies and all possible emotional combinations, unifying and harmonizing our feelings.
Through making these small connections, a huge change is actually taking place in the soul. The transformation is revealed only after we finish this process of 49 days. On the fiftieth day, Shavuot, the person who was a slave in Egypt is completely released to be a slave of G-d by receiving the Torah.
Connected to what we said in the beginning about the two roles of the Vav, we can now understand how the Vav is being used throughout this special month. Through this month, rectifying all inner emotions, we come to a level incomparable to where we started. There is a change in the external reality which occurs during the process but, only on the fiftieth day do we change as well, the essence of the heart which finally comes to a point of real free choice.
To understand the outcome of the transformative process of the Omer, Let us go back to the original Sefirat Ha'Omer and compare between the standing of the Jew in Egypt and that of the same Jew at Matan Torah. In Egypt the belief was that everything is under the rule of time and place and therefore everything will degenerate and eventually, be lost. This culture created apathy. It is similar to a person that feels that his own past is the ruler of his present and future and therefore, nothing can really change. Standing at Matan Torah, each Jew experienced his own infinitude. He experienced every minute in life as everlasting, illuminated by the light of the Torah. This understanding awakens the person and makes him full of liveliness looking for the right thing in the right time and the right place.
Now we want to take a practical work from the deep process of being ready for Shavuot and understanding what we can do to rectify this point.
Practical Work:
To first of all be aware and connected to an innate, un-rectified feeling- such as anger, hatred, jealousy, desire, coldness, depression, violence, miserly, pride, or submissive. Anyone who looks at himself will surely find many things which exist within him which are negative for him and others, and stop him from being truly expressed.
I can recommend meditating on the Sefirah of Hod, which is very connected to Lag Ba'Omer, the main Chag in Iyar, which corresponds to the Sefirah of Hod Shebe Hod. Hod is the power to admit and to surrender, and this power can often be utilized to our detriment.
"Hodi nehepach Alii L'mash'chit" - "My Hod (which is the power to surrender myself) became an enemy against me". That means that a person used this power, given to him in order to surrender towards the will of Hashem, and used it to give in to the demands of society and his own bad nature- to give his love and kindness to everyone who demands it, except to those who really need it, like his family and friends. The rectified surrendering means to be able to be quiet and listen to the divine providence which guides the person to his divine objective. He should use the power to surrender to nullify his own ideas of how things should happen and how things should be and be really open to what G-d wants of him, not just what he, his family, friends and society expect him to do or to think.
The day of Lag Ba'Omer, which is the center point of all the 49 days, is located on the eighteenth day of Iyar- Chai Iyar. It is the day of the giving of the inner Torah- Kaballah and Chassidus, which reveals the deepest meanings of each command. Lag Ba'Omer, is the day we are working on the Sefirah of Hod Shebahod. The center and inner dimension of true Jewish life is being able to surrender ones natural soul to a true listening.
As we see today, one of the most common diseases is auto- immune disorder, in which the immune system attacks the body itself. This is what the prophet said that my Hod, my defense- my ability to surrender to the will of Hashem was turned against me. Our work in Chodesh Iyar as explained above is to reconnect to a true surrendering and to turn over our Jewish nature to its true direction.
We are promised that whoever truly surrenders himself will final hear and understand the message of Hashem being spoken to him from each and every minute of life.
The first thing is that a person must feel and become aware of how much he is surrendered to the demands of society; to connect to it- to realize that he is sick that there is a problem. The second part is to turn it over, and to completely surrender to Hashems' will. This is reflective of the two powers of the Vav- first to connect- to become aware of our current state, and then to exchange it.
We wish you a happy Lag Ba'Omer and a true preparation for receiving the Torah- in both its revealed and essential forms.
